so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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