An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Randomize
