Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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