Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I am naked and annoyed.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
