two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
