You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize