I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
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