I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
