i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Randomize
