So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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