if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
