thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Randomize
