I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
You are a genius and a whore.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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