I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
