is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
