yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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