she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I'm passing your future prison.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
