You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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