Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
