Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
you mean i was at the winter classic?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Drunk is a universal language darling
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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