let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
