found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
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