Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
