Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Randomize
