Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
