I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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