Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
