wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Randomize