Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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