He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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