My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize