he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
