do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
