i just google imaged poop.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
