just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Randomize
