but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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