I should be sponsored by Trojan
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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