no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
