would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
You have to summon your inner elephant
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
