Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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