new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
