and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
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