Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
