This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
