Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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