how hairy? two words: wookie tits
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
