dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
