i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
