Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
