my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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