I cockslap morals
smell my finger.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
