I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
