I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
What a dumb baby whore.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
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