I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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