So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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