This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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