Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
