My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
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