margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
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