South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
