Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize