he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
